十年之約

那天在Lisen家裡和她聊了一會。Wonderdog說我怪，故意跑來被別人念了一場。不過我卻覺得很有收穫--至 少那個做自我 練習的提醒。我們沒有 金錢可以說十年之後我要住哪裡，有什麼東西；可是我可以跟自己說，十年之後，我應該不會再是這樣。十年之後，我可以看到自己已經清楚地移動了好一段距離。

十年之後阿...

Solemnity in the phallocracy

Solemnity in the phallocracy
Originally uploaded by iceplee.

This is the interior of Cathedral of Learning, the landmark of this area. At first, I feel this place should be a solemn symbol with time-honored academic spirit in it. How many places could you have to honor the idea of study by a cathedral? However, this place is mostly just taken as a symbol of tourists. Students are taking mobile phone calls while they sit in this building; shouting or chatting loudly in it makes the name of this place a joke... Furthermore, the fact that the nationality classrooms are harbored by this cathedral seems to hint the idea of overdominance by Christianity; a parochial mentality to display in the public.

Just like the other day, I found a flyer about an open house event of a mosque in this area. It reads "students of Islam or not are all welcome." However, someone added a note beside the word "Islam" as "murderer".... How pathetic is the view...

九份的咖啡店

九份的咖啡店/陳綺貞

這裡的景色像你　變化莫測　這樣的午後　我坐在九份的馬路邊
這裡的空氣　很新鮮　這裡的感覺　很特別
仰望這片天空　揚起我對你的思念

窗外的星空像你　嬉笑不眠　這樣的午夜　我坐在九份的咖啡店
這裡的街道　有點改變　這裡的人群　喧鬧整夜
望著朦朧的海岸線　是否還能回到從前

昨日的單純　今天的實際　像你　而你也早已不是你
我的心是一杯調和過的咖啡　懷念著往日淡薄的青草味

窗外的景色像你　沒什麼道理　這樣的午後　我在忠孝東路的咖啡店
這裡的街道　有點危險　這裡的人群　面無表情
想問你　也問問自己　是否還會記得從前

昨日的單純　今天的實際　像你　而你也早已不是你
我的心是一杯調和過的咖啡　懷念著往日淡薄的青草味
懷念著往日的堅持　和現在你我的改變

在朋友的網站上當作背景音樂放的陳綺貞，又讓我跌入了記憶的深淵。
那家叫做小魚的九份咖啡店，還有從金山搖搖晃晃回基隆的公車，就像在Eternall Sunshine of the Spotless Mind裡面的情節一樣，都被自己愚蠢的一一刪除掉了。於是在這裡，我也成了那個很久很久以前的，已經遺忘的記憶。

Emotional and Emotive

Sunday is a time for reflection and make up. However, the lack of sunlight makes this day a little bit sad. Sunday is always a mixture of good and bad. The good thing is that it feels like the gliding of the weekend, you can still feel the taste of the leisure. The bad thing is that it is the end of weekend. No matter how much you haven't done, it's the reminder of coming to the beginning of another work-loaded week. Just need to focus back.
I realize my problem as being in a relation mostly has something to do with being emotional whenever I want actually was emotive. If the things of emotive cannot be understood as the trials and efforts for the things I want to reach but temporary couldn't, it can be easily interpreted as emotional. However, the problem is that I always tried too hard that the intensity of my efforts looked like some dominating thinking. Taming myself, probably, is the best way to take care of myself.

自毀長城的哈佛大學

哈佛校長Laurance Summers因為日前在某 研討會上表示女性的學術表現有生物學上的先天限制，引起軒然大波。許多教授同時表示Summers就職以來，女性教授 拿到Tenure的比率的確下降了。十五日在哈佛的校務大會中，這個議題又變成了主要的焦點。不過請看New York Times的報導，竟然有這麼一段校長派人馬為他的辯護說詞：

"In recent weeks, the Summers controversy has led to a wider debate among academics about not only sex differences but also the state of campus political correctness - with Dr. Summers's supporters insisting that a left-wing cabal on the faculty was seeking to bring down his presidency over his remarks."

真是，保守派從來沒有停止過使用自麥卡錫主義以降的左派大帽子來扣在自由派學者的頭上。看到這篇後續報導是因為中國時報一篇報導裡提到人類學家Dr. Arthur Kleiman對這件事的反應：

人類學系主任克萊曼對桑默斯說：「教職人員很多感到失望、疏離、士氣低落。目前你的領導及管理風格是否合宜，已面臨危機。我聽到好幾位傑出同仁表示，該是離開哈佛的時候了。我要求身為校長的您嚴肅思考一下，怎麼會把大家搞到這麼樣的危機時刻。」

根據紐約時報的說法，Summers也曾對非裔美人研究權威的Dr. Cornel West加以刁難，讓後者一氣之下直接跳槽到Princeton去。看來，一個累積許久的百年基礎還是很容易就被一個糟糕的領導人搞壞的。怎麼哈佛就像美國政府一樣呢？

『從今天起』

從今天起，我決定作個快樂的無賴。

無賴的意思呢，大概就是不知回報，不知感恩，
不讓不舒服的感覺持續太久，
也不會用過度樂觀的方式來看待世界。

不過我也會做個認真的無賴。
認真的注視別人的感覺（雖然不會表示同情心），
認真的體會別人的努力（雖然不會給予讚賞），
最重要的，是認真的把自己和熱烈擁抱世界的心情保持距離；
這樣，這個無賴應該可以讓我比較合適地活在這個世界上，
如同我發現大部分的人也都是如此一樣。
這個無賴，應該是針對我自己對抗世界的需要而設計的。

快樂的等待／認真做無賴

Oh...no, I am not going to make my blog become a website of lyrics.... no no no. However, this song, again by Wubai, is too good to save for myself. And from this song I found my motto for the following years----that is：快樂的等待，認真做無賴！

[伍佰] 快樂的等待

一小時 妳應該還在甩香水點胭脂
二小時 妳說妳出門進前要喝咖啡
三小時 路裡在塞車真是足委屈妳
四小時 一定是手機沒電抹凍開機
我 尚甲意咧等妳 等著妳心情歡喜 連我吸的氣攏甜甜

五小時 妳今晚頭毛sedo一定真美
六小時 我嘛來點著一杯無糖咖啡
七小時 妳塞車生氣的嘴撇嘛真古椎
八小時 我想要替你準備新的電池
我 尚甲意咧等妳 等著妳心情歡喜 連我做的夢攏甜甜

我攏在這 沒吹冷氣嘛未太熱
一直在這 沒穿外衫嘛未畏寒
等妳來這 不是約好要看電影
甘說是我 日子記豋誕
我攏在這 愛你的心火攏未發
一直在這 有妳通想我就快活
等妳來這 人攏走了只有剩我
甘說是我 日子記豋誕

九小時 妳甘會久不來走不對間去
十小時 妳大概當咧問人這是佗位
十一小時 透中午等到今嘛已經半瞑
十二小時 我等這久嘛未來鬱卒空虛
我 尚甲意咧等妳 等著妳心情歡喜 連我酸的心攏甜甜

我攏在這 沒吹冷氣嘛未太熱
一直在這 沒穿外衫嘛未畏寒
等妳來這 不是約好要看電影
甘說是我 日子記誕誕
我攏在這 愛你的心火攏未發
一直在這 有妳通想我就快活
等妳來這 人攏走了只有剩我
甘說是我 日子記豋誕

開門的聲 聲聲攏是美麗的歌
關門的聲 離我心愛愈來愈倚
時鐘的聲 十二點鐘快樂的折磨
甘說是妳 完全不知影
走路的聲 聲聲攏是美麗的歌
停車的聲 離我心愛愈來愈倚
時鐘的聲 十二點鐘快樂的折磨
甘說是妳 不知我的名

Absent valentine's vacation

I was driving back home from downtown after just found out that the traffic court no longer holding the appealing hearing at night. The rain falls heavily on my windshield.

I think to myself, how many nights have I been through bad weathers in order to visit her in almost three years? I think she wondered about this sometimes while we were still together and she drove too. It seems that while we were doing the long driving, our hearts became hardened and fragmented and falled out piece by piece.... I remember the first time feeling terrorized is on the way from Michigan back to Cleveland. Chased by a thunderstorm, I was driving at night. It feels like death was just outside the car because the rain is so heavy that I cannot see anything. When there was a thunder, the brightness reversed the darkness into the over-bright blindness. I was trying to survive in between...

Stop in front of the traffic light. I found the cafe at the corner is the first one we had breakfast together when we first visited the Bloomfield area. There is a French window on the front. I seem to see two of us still sitting there, smelling the greasy bacon and sipping the coffee.

I know you have gone far away. I think I am under the shadow longer than I expected and wanted. But you know, this is my pattern after leaving a relationship. Otherwise, you will probably still be here with me.

Cheers. This valentine's day you are probably in another's arms and enjoy wine and cheese tasting as you always like. I am closing this shadow behind me. I am closing...

Don't dream it's over

There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're travelling with me

(Chorus)
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
In the paper today tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the T.V. page

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only the shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
Don't ever let them win

照片解剖台

要把生命放在那個角度上來看世界呢，如果想要用熱情和愛來擁抱的話？我被愛拒絕了，而熱情似乎也在消退之中。才看了一集「利家與松」，已經覺得那樣的盲目熱情的等待和愛離這個世界太遠了，似乎只能用童話故事的感覺去欣賞。
我試著在過去的照片中找到一些關於自己的影像記憶，卻發現無比困難。所有曾經去過的地方都是以她的身影來記錄的。當我想盡辦法要找到一些可以喚起一些自我卻又不想碰觸到她的照片，就像是把自己的記憶放到手術台上切割一樣。我甚至不知道，那段時間是不是值得回憶的？
一個多禮拜前寄去一個包裹，有些東西覺得她還有可能會用到。在過年前被原封不動地退了回來。那個曾經在照片裡燦爛地笑的人，已經可以把任何跟我有關的東西直接退回來了。這是我應該要記住的事實。

Hello, Murakami san!

murakami184-short
Originally uploaded by iceplee.

Haruki Murakami has become well known to the American readers by his "Hard-boiled wonderland and the end of the world", and also the "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle". It is pleasant to see the report on Murakami's new English book "Kafka on the Shore." Hello Murakami san!

往事欲如何

伍佰 china blue -往事欲如何
詞曲:伍佰 胡琴:大貓

風吹影搖移
伴著麻黃的樹枝
看見海面的
燒風拆破了雲碎
難免轟轟叫
海螺聽見你躊蹴
眼前離別時
你是波浪伊是水
越頭伊不願切 往事欲如何
要將伊初戀心肝放在佗
熟識你了后佗位找
眼淚嘛不願切 以後欲如何
我知影恁攏暫時不要想這
攏說無話

越頭伊不願切 往事欲如何
要將伊初戀心肝放在佗
熟識你了后佗位找
海風嘛不願切 白雲欲如何
我知影恁攏暫時不要受罪
愛情是假

站在你身邊
犁頭沒說半個字
難免轟轟叫
海螺欲來潛水鼻

(title has the link to the music, but the suggestion is to download it and play on your own computer)

The spirit of Anonymity

So there is a (and should have more than that) blog made into collective art work. Such like this: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
I like the revealing of minute and secrete things. It reminds me that the secrets are the most lasting thing in one's life, and I should be able to accept that.

海上的島

專輯:雙面人; 作詞/作曲:伍佰; 合唱:伍佰 / 范曉萱

聽你的心跳 聽你咧喘氣
看你的目睭 給你穿乎水水
迷戀你的姿態 欣賞你的標致
乎我給你照顧 乎你不通咽氣
傷害 不通擱繼續來
好天 草仔才站會在
就好像欲畫一幅圖 留住我青春的現在
啥咪款的色彩 攏靠恁來安排
海上的島鳥的厝 美麗的世界真少有
海上的島鳥的厝 千辛萬苦的一個巢
沖破巨浪甲海流 有我少年的模樣
海上的島鳥的厝 日頭照起攏無霧
高山的神秘 溪水的青苔
海水的波浪 鹽埕的景致
管芒花的堅持 市仔口的蕃薯
歐巴桑的笑容 烏托麥的趣味
傷害 不通擱繼續來
好天 草仔才站會在
就好像欲行一只船 浮在咧無邊的大海
啥咪款的將來 攏是要靠現在
海上的島鳥的厝 千辛萬苦的一個巢
海上的島鳥的厝 撒啥咪種子有啥咪樹
阮攏麥擱在冤家 朋友弟兄無常在有
深淵注定是薄溜溜 小心大膽向前游
海上的島鳥的厝

拜 網路發達之賜，伍佰的新專輯遠在這裡的我也可以收到。貼出這篇歌 詞，一方面覺得有種俗俗憨厚的味道，一方面是因為聽的時候被唱女聲的聲音所吸引。一直在猜想會是那個女歌手。從聲音的質地聽起來，曾經猜測是潘越雲，不過 想想沒有什麼必要請她出來唱這一首；而且其中還是有些部分歌唱的掌握能力不夠，覺得應該是個新手...答案揭曉，讓我差點暈倒：竟然是范曉萱！伍佰大概想 把那些當初糊里糊塗裝可愛出道的人重新再回收運用一次；比如之前的徐若瑄。不過倒是不知道MTV會怎麼拍....整首歌有種氤氳漂浮的海外仙山味道，聽 起來覺得像潘麗麗的歌詞和勸世歌旋律的混和：一種回憶和預言同時存在的迷幻感。