While I tried to call her

I don't even know whether this intention is only my obsession or something I feel genuine that she would probably listen.

I thought about the past events. Some of them are very nasty and I bear them as my fault. I just cannot understand, why does she forget so quickly? I believe that some of the things are significantly harmful to both of us, although at the time we tried to take it away immediately. Why can she forget that as not even happened?

The phone rang for the first time, and I called again but the phone connected to the mailbox directly. I thought she might be busy with something, although it was about 12 am on Saturday. I wanted to confess and ask her to reconsider our reunion again. But, I guess, there is never a chance like this.

I feel wrenched. I cannot say this to anyone else. So I guess I will go to the reeds and speak to them...